“The phone works both ways.”
People without social anxiety
Oh, how I hate that phrase! It always comes after I’ve worked up the courage to ask a loved one to call anytime. They have no clue how many times I’ve thought about calling.
- What if they’re busy? I don’t want to interrupt.
- What if they don’t want to talk to me and they’re just being nice?
- What if they ask why I haven’t called in a month?
- What if they bring up my past?
- etc, etc, etc…
I truly love these people and want to know what’s going on in their lives, but my anxiety turns into a full blown panic attack when I think of calling them.
So here’s what I’ve started doing:
1. Facebook
It’s how I keep track of the important things (or what they had for dinner). It’s also a way to let them know what’s going on with me without direct interaction. (This works with other platforms as well, but Facebook is where most of my family spend time.)
With this tip, my low self esteem works to my benefit. It tells my anxiety that no one will read my posts anyway.
2. Texting
This isn’t as terrifying as making an actual phone call. The key is to remind yourself that by texting, they can look at it when they aren’t busy.
I use this for important/personal topics. Ex: Mom is sick, Happy Birthday, I’m pregnant, etc.
3. Snail Mail
This is my new favorite! I ordered postcards from Amazon and can jot down a few lines or a quote. There’s zero true interaction. The person feels special. And who doesn’t love postcards?
4. Set a Schedule
Asking for this is the hard part. Once you do, it takes away some of the anxiety. I used this when my children were with their father. (Note to self: I should really do this again.)
5. Fight Through
The last and hardest of all: fight through the anxiety and call. This is only recommended for people like your Mood Monitor. (Click here if you haven’t read that post.)
Remember to be honest with this person. Let them know that you’re having anxiety about calling. If they’re anything like mine, they well tell you to call every time you feel this way.
Please share any tips and tricks you’ve found and let me know if this has helped you.
PS: Tell your anxiety that I truly want to know what you’re thinking! Or share with your friends.
